As you are here, you might be considering seeing a counsellor. If this is the case, I think you have made a really positive but also often brave decision. Choosing a therapist equates to choosing the person you are going to be talking to at length, regularly, probably every week, about some of your innermost thoughts, feelings, and experiences. It can be a daunting thing to do, so well done for starting the process.
As well as considering the personal thoughts and feelings attached to choosing the right counsellor for you, you may also be feeling bewildered by the range of letters and qualifications that are listed after a therapist’s name! What should you be looking for- who is, and isn’t trained suitably, and what do those qualifications mean? It can be confusing and unsettling, but please don’t let it put you off. You’ve made a great decision. Here are some things that you should consider, and I hope might make things clearer when considering who you want to be your counsellor.
1. Are they qualified?
As I’ve said this can be difficult to determine as there is not just one type of qualification you must have to be fully qualified as the title of ‘counsellor’ isn’t a protected title. Some counsellors will study through college and others will study through undergraduate or postgraduate routes. My advice in this area would be to take notice of if they are registered with either the BACP or UKCP as these are two trusted bodies within the counselling and psychotherapy field. So, if they are registered here you can trust that they have been suitably trained to see you. On the note of 'counselling and psychotherapy', it may be worth you knowing that one does not out-rank the other. Although some professionals may argue, you can use and understand the terms as synonyms. The same is true for 'therapist' as a shortening of 'psychotherapist' in the right context.
Once the jargon and technicalities are out of the way you can think about the next question.
How do they work?
As this is someone who you hope will be supporting you to explore some big and possibly difficult feelings, you should think about how you want to tackle these things.
You may be thinking… I don’t know anything about therapy so how do I know how I want to work?
You’re right, and not expected to know this. However, you might know if you want your counsellor to be direct with you and challenge you. You might want them to offer alternative ways of looking at things, or you may just want to get things off your chest. Perhaps you know there is a particular topic you want to focus on or you may not be sure what you want to talk about, but just that you don’t feel right. These things are exactly what you should keep in mind when looking for a therapist and these are things you can discuss with a particular counsellor before you begin working together. This is the reason why I offer a free 15-minute call to anyone who is interested in beginning counselling with me. It’s a chance for you to tell me how you’d like to work… you don’t need to get technical, we can simply discuss what you think would make the process easier for you. However, If you would like to know more about a particular modality (CBT, DBT, Psychodynamic, humanistic counselling etc.) you can also ask about these too.
Specifics?
Some people might want a specific type of person when they are looking for a therapist. Maybe they want someone of a similar age to themselves or the same gender, race or religion. Others want someone who is the complete opposite to them. Or perhaps these things do not matter to you. There are numerous reasons why you might want (or avoid) certain characteristics in your therapist, and that is ok. The most important thing is that you feel able to open-up and speak freely to your counsellor.
Listen to your gut
Sometimes it comes down to a case of a gut feeling. A sense of a person. Many of us can get a real sense of a person as soon as we speak to them if they are ‘your kind of person’ or if you feel comfortable talking to them. This is so important when it comes to choosing your counsellor as it is
essential that you are able to build a relationship with them.
This relationship is built up of trust, understanding, common goals as well as the bond between the counsellor and the client. The therapeutic relationship is an essential tool for all other aspects of therapy to grow upon and so if you don’t feel that you could potentially build a strong therapeutic relationship with this person, then you may not be right for one another. Many pieces of research have found the same result- that the therapeutic relationship can dictate t
he success of the therapy. Therefore, if I had one tip for choosing a therapist- speak to them and see how you feel. Do you think you could come to trust them? Do you feel they could come to understand you? If so, them you could be on to the start of great work.
I hope that this has helped you to navigate your way to a great choice in therapist. I hope you feel clearer on where to start and what you are looking for. Again, it can be daunting but it could be the best decision you’ll ever make.
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